Most people don't realise that the sadness and frustration felt after losing your career due to chronic disability or illness is actually a complex form of grief.
Losing your health can bring on many of the emotions of grief usually associated with the death of a loved one. It is a deep sadness.
The loss of your health and the loss of your career are both major life stresses but both are present together. They lead to a complex type of grief that often goes unnoticed by the rest of the world, so you may not get the same support as you would if a loved one had passed away.
There is so much grief for:
- the loss of mobility
- the loss of career
- the loss of colleagues and possible friendships
- the loss of health
- the loss of financial security
This grief and loss can be overlooked by others who don't realise you are grieving. It is a traumatic time. Shock, numbness and disbelief can be as great as if a loved one was lost. It is a huge lifestyle change.
The emotions you might be feeling can be similar to those experienced after a bereavement. The coping mechanisms are very similar too.
Ways of coping with a loss your career to chronic disability or illness
- Learn to live with your new limitations. You can live a full and worthwhile life, adapt to change. Your life is still precious and useful.
- Sort out your medical help, housing needs, mobility needs and support groups.
- Work out your finances. Make sure you have applied for all the support you are entitled to?
- Prioritise your essential needs. Do you need to change homes due to wheelchair access?
- Get yourself an Occupational Therapist. They give practical help on how to adjust housing needs.
- Ensure you can access your garden/outdoor space in your wheelchair. Spending time with nature can help to ease the anxiety and stress.
- Do you need to change your car, or have adjustments made to allow safe driving?
- Look after your general health, get adequate sleep, eat well and get fresh air.
- Organise physiotherapy for exercise. Keep all your appointments.
- Accept help!
- Do you need a carer to help with your everyday needs?
- Keep busy and get yourself a new hobby.
- Get a new job. There are still many skills you have that are valued in the workplace.
- Volunteer. From a wheelchair you can still work in a charity shop, listen to children read in schools, make things.
- You can still use a computer, play bridge, join a choir, learn a language.
- You can study. Universities and colleges have a lot of support for disabled students to allow them access to courses.
Do grieve. You have every right. However, do try to think positively for your own and your family’s sake.
